emotional niagaras

Okay so yesterday I took a plunge down emotional Niagara Falls.
Ana calls
She remands me for too much correspondence
and fessing up my matters of love for her to her sister
A weird predicament.
Following that
I spoke with several kind souls
all of whom had strong reactions
So it is that I spent hours sulking
and then a quick smoke with K
to calm the nerves and for Miles (the cat) to return home.
(I miss that cat!)
Walking up the step and checking the mail
I find a postcard from Peace Corps
“Volunteers will read from their letters and journals . . .”
and I lost it.
She came back despite the high.
and that’s when I began to cry
Uncontrolled sobbing
“what’s with you?”


Mazzy Star evening
up until 4:20am
doing renditions
of meaningful guitar-chord dialect
Awake today
Devious mind
all black
run to the Nevada desert on half a tank of tequila . . .

The Wait

OK, in anticipation of today, I wound up staying up quite late last night putzing around on the computer and then sleeping here in the living room so that I wouldn’t miss Ana’s call. I HAVE managed to sleep through the phone ringing before.

Markus came by last night. It was fun, he brought his laptop with the newly-installed humungus hard drive and we sat around and worked on our sites. Mind you, this isn’t normal Friday operating procedure. Just that I’ve been out most nights this week and I felt I needed to stay in and take a break and catch up with things. It’s nice to be able to have company and not feel bad about working on pet projects.

Having a webcam has been a blast. I get comments from all over about this and that. The tarot cards were pretty popular. Maybe I’ll give more readings in the future. Or maybe I should do a reading to see if I’ll be giving readings in the future hehehehehe. A woman named Erin emailed asking if I could lend any advice getting her webcam set up. Take a look, it works now.

I’m still thinking about how I want to present the pictures I took in the Persian Gulf. It’s easy to dream up vague notions of projects, it’s a whole other thing to actually do the work and bring it into reality.

One thing that has become very apparent is how many wonderful human beings I know. Most people have been totally understanding and quite helpful. Being apart from someone you care for is difficult at best and it really brings out many different aspects in not only yourself, but those around you as well. So I wanted to thank Mary, Jason, Tony, Olive, my sister Lisa, my sister Susy, Christopher, Carly, Sallamah, Elena, Kristin, Michel, Aaron, Shana, Paul, John K, Sparky, William, Dave W, Sarah, Markus, Steve, Sunita, Andrea, Caitlin, Whitney, Celeste, Dave V, Megan, Rob, Brenda, Roger, Wendy, Sarah, and Herb for hearing me out, giving wonderful advice, and being there as friends and mentors for me. I love you!!!

peace and smiles,
Jackspace

Not In This Issue

NOT IN THIS ISSUE
OK, yes it’s election year and yet again I find myself confronted with that same old feeling that Washington D.C. is worlds apart from anywhere I have been or where anyone is for that matter. The issues being taken up are so irrelevant to the vast majority of people that it’s a wonder this whole damned system doesn’t collapse under the weight of the ineptitude abound. But that’s not a very positive thing to write is it?

PORNOGRAPHIC PRECIPITATION
It’s snowing right now. Several inches have fallen. This morning on the way in to work from the bus stop I had this notion of likening the new snowfall to a climax of sorts: “Old Man Winter blew his wad today. It came in sheets. From Nebraska to Ohio, it came and it came.” But on some level, I felt this sort of prurient description of a snowstorm would earn me either some sort of censorship flag or the attention of the literary braincake underworld, neither of which I think I’m ready for.

DANS LE WEEKEND
I’m still mulling over what to do this weekend. Ana emailed earlier this week saying she would call Saturday morning. There are several people headed out into the cold for several forms of skiing (cross-country and downhill). Alas, I find it would be nice to get things done around home, since moving out sometime this year seems to be something I need to focus on.

CAT HOUSE
Kristin’s cat Miles has been over all week. I feel bad for him since he’s all alone most of the time. He’s an awesome cat . . . he plays fetch, he enjoys attention, and he’s simply nice to have around. I’ll miss him when he goes back home.

peace and smiles,
jackspace